My best thoughts often show up when I listen to music. In this particular instance, I was bumping this Jill Scott debut again and thought “the likelihood of me meeting someone here who has any idea how damn good this album is ranges from slim to none.” That thought depressed me briefly.
It’s not even about a lack of relations. It’s bigger than that right now. It’s about finding people who I can relate to in the simplest of ways. I try almost too hard to relate to other people. I think traveling and finding yourself in consistently awkward situations as an adult, has heightened my sense of curiosity that was always there to begin with.
It’s not about other people, but an inability to really understand what I’m supposed to do about it. I think it is just part of an evolutionary process that’s continuing to evolve. One of the things the past few years has been helpful for, is realizing what I’d do differently in situations if they arose and resisting the temptation to take even the most basic things for granted.
I used to think common ground was about liking the same tunes or finding someone who was a poor substitute for what I’d always imagined made sense. It’s not really about a caricature of a person that I think I’m looking for. But I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly trying to adapt something to fit a place it’s not meant to inhabit whether it’s me or someone else. I don’t think picking up and moving will change anything even if it were in the cards at this very moment. And I think there’s a penchant to try to make fetch happen that I’m also avoiding.
But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m souring on the routine, because there’s a real lack of the kinds of energy that keep me going. It’s akin to running a race where no one is watching. You just have to like running to keep motivated in that kind of forest. When I wrote that, I felt like there was a different kind of punchline but as I end it now, I realize that maybe that was the lesson along.
I feel like there’s a middle ground somewhere, it’s just a matter of finding it.
My Room Faces North, But The Sun’s In The South
It’s 5 hours long…not necessarily meant for one sitting though.
And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Sister Crayon - Futile Devices (Sufjan Stevens Cover)
Sister Crayon are a group based out of Sacramento led by vocalist Terra Lopez. The group have boldly covered a stripped back version of Sufjan Stevens’ (pictured) Futile Devices.
The original song was taken from Steven’s The Age of Adz album - An apocalyptic, transformative recording experience.
While it would be impossible to outdo Steven’s on his own song, Sister Crayon do an exceptional job covering the album opener. They also don’t stray too far from the original and keep with the songwriter’s subdues, introverted style.
Download the track here (right click & save file)
Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping that we will not find in the other what we know is in ourselves—the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and brute stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything that lies within it will somehow be free of faults and hence lovable.
The Great Happiness Space (2006)
It’s a story about the hosts in Japan, men who work in bars that provide women with companionship. I’m not selling it well, but..it’s really, really interesting. About the dynamics of people’s need, the women seem really resolved to understand what they’re doing at these clubs, except you wonder about the illusion that spending creates love.
I dunno, but it’s an interesting experience in sadness.
I’m as pro-love as the next person; I just prefer to keep the details under wraps. My anthropological dissection of your big day doesn’t mean I won’t still buy you something nice from your registry, though. And of course, I wish you all the happiness in the world, and, as a bonus, a lifetime of closed doors behind which to celebrate it properly and away from prying eyes.
